Arthur here, back again with another suggestion for interesting media. This time, I’d like to recommend Chad Kultgen, author of such bro-fiction as Average American Male, Average American Marriage, and The Lie. The first two—Average American Male and Marriage—follow the same character, a sex obsessed late 20-something male who spends his time barely stomaching his girlfriends in order to extract sex from them. Spoilers follow, so if you would like to read the books on your own, stop reading here and come back in a few weeks. I promise, Kultgen is worth your time. I’ll be writing after this about Male and Marriage.
This pair of books is comprised mainly of vignette-style chapters, usually no more than 3 pages, detailing our narrator’s boredom and sexual voracity. Each one can be read for fun in isolation, but together, they form a picture of a red-blooded man who barely tolerates girlfriend after girlfriend in order to maintain sexual access. Our hero finishes the first book realizing that no matter how many women he sleeps with, or how sexually interested the woman appears to be at the beginning, the relationship will always stall in the same way: he will sexually lose interest in her out of repetition and she will become stingier and stingier with sex until it is obvious to him, if not to her, that every sexual act has a price tag attached. This pattern should be familiar to all MGTOW at this point.
This inevitable conclusion to relationships presents many men with a problem: the sex drive is a dominant motivator for many men until their mid-30’s, and sometimes beyond. I have heard the transition out of such a mindset as a veil lifting, granting sudden clarity to the men who realize that their lives must be more than just reproduction and work to provide for a disinterested partner. Our hero faces just such a crisis, not at the time many men do, mid-30’s as their testosterone levels ease up, but in his late-20’s, and this is brought about not hormonally, but by the deterioration of yet another relationship as the female withdraws, yet again, and restricts sexual access to that for which her partner has paid by way of some combination of financial provisioning and good behavior.
Given the incredible sexual appetite of our hero up to this point in the story, one can imagine this as a life-altering existential crisis, as the sudden internalization of an unfortunate conclusion that our hero has been chewing on for the entire book up to this point: it will never be enough. He will never find a partner who will provide for him, sexually, unconditionally, and he will never find a partner to whom he is so attracted that he will be endlessly happy with her. For those who are curious, as I am, about such existential crises, I recommend watching the following clip about a similar realization, not about women, but this time about the ultimate futility of competitions for wealth, status, and power that so many men, due to internal drive and/or the endless demand for resources from their partners, seem hell-bent on pursuing.
Existential crises fascinate me, as I myself have gone through one as I recognized how my most basic motivation, my sex drive, has been warped into a ravenous, insatiable hunger by a circumcision that has robbed me of normal satisfaction and left me with an emptiness in the place where many men find motivation, at least during their teens and 20’s.
This crisis is also discussed in the book Tribal Leadership. People commonly climb the rungs of their workplaces by working as hard as they can while maintaining an attitude of “I’m great (and you’re not).” After a certain point, with this motivation, as with our hero’s pursuit of sexual access and my own pursuit of pleasure, one realizes that the reward of aggressive activity in such a self-centered mindset will ultimately be meaningless. As the video says of Monopoly, “Players come, and players go…It all goes back in the box.” The pleasure of individual achievement is short-lived and it leaves no legacy. Men who spend all their time climbing the corporate ladder just to get to the top reach it and realize that they had no vision beyond that point. Men who look to a partner and children for a legacy will be foiled, as they are forced by threat of divorce to work hours so long that the man never has a chance to permanently imprint on his own children. According to Tribal Leadership, the answer to the workplace existential crisis is to build a culture of “We are great,” a culture of actors building each other up to accomplish something bigger than anything that one man could accomplish by himself. Captain Yardbird discusses this in the following video, and he argues that MGTOW has had rifts indicating a conflict over whether we are a Stage 3 culture (“I’m great”) or Stage 4 (“We’re great). Word wouldn’t let me embed this video for some reason, so here’s the link.
Let me return, however, to our hero from The Average American Male, because he makes a decision that should tell us something about the Blue-pill man. At the height of his crisis, as he realizes the emptiness of partnering with a woman who will ultimately use his sexual interest to hold him hostage and extract resources, he makes the worst possible decision: he decides to marry the woman who is cutting him off, as this conclusion will be inescapable in any relationship he attempts. He is tired, and he caves in to the expectations of society around him.
To put this in terms of Kierkegaard, people have spiritual needs. Kierkegaard didn’t spend a lot of time describing where those needs come from, but he hypothesized that they existed, and that they were inseparable from human existence. Kierkegaard saw that people relieve themselves of these needs by finding paradoxes—Kierkegaard spoke of religious teachings that make no sense, such as the simultaneous supposed existence of an omnipotent and omniscient god in a universe that was believed to be ruled by free will—and committing themselves fully to the irrational path. In other words, people come across an idea that cannot possibly be true given their understanding of the world, and they are faced with the choice to believe in what they know to be true or what they know to be antithetical to reality. By choosing the irrational belief system, human beings satisfy their spiritual beliefs, according to Kierkegaard.
Well, isn’t this what our hero of Average American Male does? At the height of his existential crisis, his realization that he is driven by an urge that cannot be satisfied by any living woman, he does the only thing that doesn’t make sense: he decides to marry the woman in front of him, knowing full-well that his current problems will only be exacerbated. And exacerbated they are, as in Marriage his wife grows more frigid and adds a child to the mix.
So why does he do it? Why does a man who seems so fully to understand his own (caricatured) sex-based motivation commit to the only option that will suck out his life force and reduce him to a shell of his former independent self? Why would a man on the cusp of red-pill understanding turn to the blue pill?
It is my hypothesis, gentlemen, that blue pill men are made, not born. Blue-pillers are created from despair, depression, hopelessness, as the world beats them down. Anti-male teachers, coworkers, partners, and society wear down a man’s spirit. Blue-pillers are made by the degradation of the male spirit, and it is my opinion that they are to be pitied and, ideally, built up to restore them to a happier outlook than their typical self-loathing. To paraphrase Spetsnaz, I am tired of seeing broken men.
I want to see pro-male ideas on street corners, in bookshops, in local bars and coffee shops. I want to spread male self-worth as far as we can. And I think that Chad Kultgen could be a good tool to accomplish this goal. The core-belief change that I hope for in men cannot be argued for, it cannot be imposed from the outside. If you really want someone to engage with and internalize an idea, you have to make them think that they came up with the idea themselves. To this end, I think that Chad Kultgen may be instrumental, in that his books force the male reader to recognize his own sexual needs and struggle to see them as valid in order to empathize with caricatured male characters. Chad Kultgen shows men the capricious nature of women, and he shows them, in Marriage, that you cannot fill a hole in yourself by giving up your youthful self-direction to step into the role of protector-provider. I believe that in his books, Chad Kultgen plants to seeds necessary for the millennial generation of men to come out of blue-pill slumber and embrace their self-worth. To this end, gentlemen, I would like to promote this book however I can. Perhaps this means buying up copies on an overstock website for distribution to local libraries, and filling out those Recommendation slips to promote the book within the library as worthwhile. Perhaps this means recommending the book to all of my male friends.
I am looking for material to promote in society that could plant seeds of male self-worth and other MGTOW/pro-male ideas. I would love to hear from anyone who has other pro-male materials or ideas in the comment section. If you have read any Chad Kultgen, tell me what you thought. Can blue-pillers be helped, or is it a lost cause. Drop comments below; I want to know what you thought of this essay.